Themes & Things

I’m currently laying on my couch wrapped in the softest blanket (shoutout to Costco), drinking my Apothic Red in my favorite wine glasses (another shoutout to Costco), reflecting on what my life was like 365 days ago, and just thinking – holy shit (excuse my French), but those are the only 2 words that I feel accurately describe what this last year has been. 

It was actually on this exact day a year ago where my ex and I went on our 6 year anniversary trip to Cancun, which was the most romantic and beautiful resort I have ever stayed in (it’s also at times like these where you see those “memories” pop up on your phone or snapchat and want to throw your phone across the room). Little did I know that a few months later I’d be ending a relationship to the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, moving out, splitting our two dogs, changing careers, and going through the most challenging time of my life. 

No one can prepare you for what that kind of heartbreak feels like, and how just fucking brutal navigating that next step in your life is. But here I am, and never in a million years did I think this is where I’d be if you asked me last January. Plot twist: I got a new job, refinanced my car, bought a house, made new, beautiful friendships, have been more dedicated to fitness than ever, have taken on new hobbies, accomplished my reading goal for the first time ever, took a few trips to see my best friends, spent more time with my family, and most importantly, I’m finally discovering myself and realized the scariest part – I have no idea who that really is. They don’t tell you how easy that is to do when you’re in a relationship. But hey, we live and we learn. 

I remember last year when I went on a hike with some of my former co-workers in April, we each picked a word that we wanted to live by that year – I picked “strong,” thinking that I wanted to get stronger at the gym. But now that I look back, I think that was my subconscious telling me that I’d need strength for a whole lot more than just for squatting –  and I hung on to that theme for the remainder of the year. 

I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I am definitely a fan of themes so I’m going to stick with it this year 🙂 

My theme this year is “Be.” 

I struggle with sitting still and always feel like I need to be doing something – the guilt I feel for relaxing is unbearable, and just being with myself has never been easy, especially as I’m navigating this whole healing phase of my life. I do everything I can to distract myself from feeling the rollercoaster of emotions I go through on a daily basis. So, this year I’m focused on sitting in the uncomfortable and just being. 

I’m excited to share with you all this next chapter, so buckle in for a wild ride lol. 

What’s your theme for this year? 🙂 Leave them in the comments below! 

Xo,

Amanda